State Foundation on Culture and the Arts acquires an original Abercrombie

An original composition by Neil Abercrombie will be unveiled at the annual Art at the Capitol

An original composition by Neil Abercrombie will be unveiled at the annual Art at the Capitol

Art2According to the artist it was made from crap accumulated in his desk.

“I pretty much just couldn’t bring myself to throw the stuff out…especially the stress cow,” said the artist. “So, I just glued it to an old piece of cardboard and threw it behind the credenza.”

Discovered by janitors when they were cleaning the office, the work was recognized as a significant work of art and turned over to the State Foundation of Culture and the Arts. Now a part of their permanent collection and valued at over $100,000, the masterpiece of constructivism has been loaned to the office of Representative Bob McDermott where it be displayed during the Art at the Capitol event on April 1 from 4:30 to 7:00 pm.


Did Governor Abercrombie Fake Obama’s Birth Certificate?

A surveillance video recently leaked to the media shows suspicious activity two days before the official Hawaii long form Obama birth certificate was released by the White House.

New evidence now points a finger at Hawaii’s Governor Neil Abercrombie as the possible source of the widely disputed document purporting to be President Obama’s long form birth certificate. Surveillance photos of the South St. & Queen St. intersection routinely monitored by the Honolulu Fire Department have been leaked to the media. One frame clearly shows Governor Abercrombie leaving the Kinko’s late at night, on April 25th, two days before Obama unveiled the “official” document.

The night manager at Kinko’s, Mr. Marvin Ishikawa, further corroborated what was shown on the video.

“Sure I remember them.” said Ishikawa. “They hogged my best graphics machine for hours. I thought the short guy looked a lot like the governor, but he said his name was John Smith. I thought it was kind of funny that they paid with a State of Hawaii government debit card.”

Ishikawa elaborated, “They were on that machine for almost two days straight, and I have the computer logs right here; 12 hours of Adobe Illustrator, 23 scans, a bunch of PhotoShop and several faxes back and forth to Washington, DC.”

Asked to identify the man in the video, Ishikawa said, “Yeah, that’s him, that’s “Smith.”

Close up reveals what was being produced at the marathon Kinko's session supervised by the mysterious "Mr. Smith."

When Abercrombie first took office he vowed to clear this birth certificate business up, once and for all, but by January of 2011 had given up. He basically told his friends that he simply “couldn’t find the dam thing.” Things changed in April, when the President sent a letter to Hawaii’s Department of Health requesting a copy of the long form birth certificate.

According to one un-named source inside the DOH, everybody, including the Governor’s Office, panicked, “We had to do what we had to do”

Abercrombie Website Makes Immodest Claims About His Superior Intellect

We’re not buying that a PhD in American Studies  from the University of Hawaii makes you a lock for the Nobel Prize.  But, that didn’t stop the Abercrombie Campaign from posting this wad of self-serving twaddle online.  “Neil has extreme brainpower having achieved the highest levels of formal education.” (Yeah, he’s much smarter than Hannemann, who only graduated from Harvard cum laude and went on to be a Fulbright Scholar.)

What is “extreme brainpower” anyway? Well, Atomic Monkey would like to present the pluses and minuses of this alleged “extreme brainpower,” AND the downside of crowing about it around us.

For those of you with no sense of humor, or a weak grasp of the concept of satire, this is a PARODY. Ben Cayetano did not actually have Abercrombie’s brain removed…he’s messing with it while in place.