Monkey Bites

Words Mean Something – Governor Abercrombie signed a new bill that eliminated mental retardation in Hawaii. Actually it just changed the name to the more politically correct “intellectual disability.” Additionally, those guilty of “robbery’ will be now culpable only of “inappropriate entrepreneurial activity,” “assault” suspects are now “physically expressive,” those hopelessly insane are to be referred to as “reality challenged,” and, of course the homeless are “feral citizens.” The Governor vetoed the bill to change “Republicans,” to “Criminal Running Dog Lackeys,” but it will probably be back next year.

A Rose By Any Other Name – The city moved a bus stop recently so as to avoid exposure to a stinky homeless woman who had camped out in the bus shelter. The driver said that when the bus door was opened the stench would permeate the entire vehicle and hang there for several torturous minutes. Ironically, due to the failure of Councilman Tam’s stinky bus patron bill, the homeless woman could not have been blocked from boarding the bus causing total chaos and possible toxic contamination.

Kym Pine On Hold – Tom Berg’s Chief of Staff, Eric Ryan, is busy trying to convince us Kym is a “crook”. Of course she isn’t, but the perpetually disgruntled, allegedly under-compensated, graphic design thug is behind schedule on conjuring his “proof” for his latest web creation. The next in his never ending series of Internet assaults was supposed to launch on Friday the 15th. However, it simply featured a message stating that the delay was caused by “major, major, MAJOR breaking news at City Hall.” Perhaps the big news is that Eric actually showed up for work instead of fooling around with his little internet extortion games.

Another Truckload of Sh*t From The Council – With his renewed clout at the “re-organized” City Council, Romy Cachola pulled the funding for the expansion of the Sand Island wastewater treatment plant. This forced the administration to consider trucking sludge to other Oahu treatment plants like Kailua, and caused predictable resistance from regional politicos. The original plan to dump the excess sludge on Romy’s house was nixed by the EPA.

Harness The Wind – With all the discussions, opinions and prognostications about wind projects on the Neighbor Islands, it was pointed out that if the wind farms had been built before the lengthy debate and endless discussions they could have already powered 30,000 homes. The portable wind generators being towed in front of Abercrombie public appearances have proven to be extremely productive.

Berg’s Spam Operation – Councilman Tom Berg sent the StarAdvertiser a nasty letter accusing them of censoring his anti-rail rants from the ranks of the blog comments. The SA, known for graciously allowing all sorts of unhinged, inflammatory and slanderous comments denied any special treatment for Berg. They blamed his denial of service on automated spam blocking software that had flagged the Councilman’s efforts as “spam.” They suggested that if he simply inserted the term “Mufia” or “Carliar” in his texts, his entries would go to the front of the line.

Barn Door Closed After Cows Leave – Governor Abercrombie restored ten agricultural inspector positions that were cut in 2009. This will allow the Department of Agriculture to step up its monitoring of invasive species and help to protect Hawaii’s fragile ecosystem. When asked if this had anything to do with the 127 dead rattlesnakes found on the road between Sandy Beach and Makapuu Lookout, or the recent rhinoceros attack in Kapolei, the Governor had no comment.

State Representative Pine Latest Victim of Dirty Cyber Trickster?

Kym Pine most likely did not approve her latest official email.

CivilBeat reported on the apparent hacking of Representative Kymberly Pine’s email. Though not as newsworthy as Congressman Weiner’s weiner,  had a very familiar M.O.

One “Ewa Resident” in the political consulting business with a pattern of ending his professional relationships with an explosion of controversy and slander is one Eric Ryan. Is he the latest mystery hacker?

It sounds awfully familiar.

One of Ryan’s previous clients, the fringe Republican candidate, John Carroll, got the “treatment” a couple of years ago. Carroll’s website, administrated by Ryan, mysteriously morphed into an anti-Carroll hate screed after an apparent falling out between the two. “” (now removed) became a pseudo-official-looking, campaign spending commission complaint portal listing Mr. Carroll’s crimes (real and imagined). The motivation was a combination of unpaid invoices owed to Ryan and that pesky little

If this is the official CitizensForCarroll website, I'd hate to see CitizensAGAINSTCarroll.

matter of Carroll’s office being investigated by the police and FBI for cyber crimes involving forged email. Seems that someone inside Carroll’s office, then the hub of the Anti-Mufi, Anti-Rail faction that had been banished by Cliff Slater, was running a dirty tricks operation. Inflammatory emails purported to originate from Hannemann appointees were traced back to Carroll’s office and his “tenant” Eric Ryan.

Before the shit hit the fan, Ryan and Carroll, the self-anointed champions of all things anti-rail, were knocking themselves out to make the phony accusations stick to Hannemann and one of his advisors, Keith Rollman. Venomous Ryan-authored websites and press releases sprouted like poison mushrooms, and lawyerly letters were penned by Carroll to the Mayor demanding the firing of the falsely accused “conspirators.”

“Now that this evidence has surfaced and we know who’s involved, you need to do the right thing.” wrote Carroll.

Ryan also continued to flood the internet with propaganda right to the bitter end:


“I am certain that Rollman, who probably has the technical knowhow to cover his tracks and the access to the entire City e-mail directory to send e-mails to fellow City employees, is completely responsible for both the disgusting website and the offensive e-mail.”

Eric Ryan (Oct. 31, 2008)


But, the tide had turned. There was a lot of “evidence” mounting alright, but it wasn’t the sort that Carroll found comforting. The Hannemann campaign and Rollman clearly had no part in hatching the offensive Website or phony forged emails.

At some point during the investigation, Carroll slowly became aware that he had been duped and had foolishly cultivated a tank of political piranhas in his office and began to retreat. At this point Ryan was apparently asked to leave, and began his obsessive anti-John Carroll campaign. Ryan’s tone regarding the previous going’s on, and his fanatical and strident accusations against Hannemann and Rollman then flipped 180 degrees. He now openly acknowledged that they were “framed” and that the acts were indeed “criminal,” but said his colleagues were responsible.

In this undated press release, Ryan tries to “come clean” by throwing his friends under the bus:


Eric Ryan would not comment on the multiple documented similarities between the elements of the computer crime perpetrated against this state legislator and her office manager while Dan Douglass worked for that legislator and those of the computer crime perpetrated against Keith Rollman and Mufi Hanneman during the heat of the rail initiative and mayoral campaigns in September 2008 during a time when Dan Douglass served as campaign coordinator for Stop Rail Now and while he worked John Carroll’s office for over a year during 2008-2009. Both crimes apparently involve using the identical technique of creating a fake e-mail address with Gmail and using those accounts to distribute disparaging information purportedly from and about the owners of those accounts to unsuspecting recipients.”

“Ryan only said: Since these two identical crimes with strikingly identical methods and seemingly identical motives (getting someone fired) are currently being actively investigated by police and prosecutors, I will wait to see what the criminal justice system concludes before making any comment.  Clearly, Douglass confessed to precisely the same elements of the crime seen in both cases and it’s not hard to put two and two together.”


Ryan is currently on the public payroll on the staff of Councilman Tom Berg. Berg should be very, very careful to pay his “consultant” bills on time.