Lingle Malfunctions At Republican Convention

Lingle appeared to be in distress before being wheeled off he stage by Lenny Klompus.

At last weekend’s Republican Convention, U.S. Senatorial Candidate Linda Lingle seemed to suffer a catastrophic technical failure only five minutes into her prepared keynote speech. Just a few minutes into her dissertation on the need for more robotics-based industry in Hawaii a large patch of Ms Lingle face appeared to flop down.  At that point she removed her glove which revealed a large mechanical hand and began to paw at her face, making things worse, and uncovering more electronics and mechanized underpinnings.  At this point her media advisor, Lenny Klompus, placed a blanket over her and dragged her offstage. Within a couple of minutes, Mr Ted Liu appeared with another Linda Lingle, wearing a slightly different suit, who began her speech from the beginning, and continued for 20 minutes, after Mr. Liu made some adjustments to the back of her head.

Most of the delegates said they didn’t see anything unusual.

The incident was missed by most of the audience, who appeared only mildly interested in the presentation. They may have simply been lulled into a state of deep relaxation by Lingle’s soothing monotone delivery, punctuated with slight beeping noises.  When asked about what had happened and if she was feeling alright, Lingle would only say, “Must build more robots.”

One delegate questioned about Ms. Lingle’s odd behavior said, “No, she pretty much always talks about robots, that is not out of the ordinary at all.”

When asked why the convention organizers did not allow her primary opponent John Carroll to address the group, while allowing Lingle 20 minutes as the keynote speaker, one answered, “Well, she has more money!”

Party officials also brushed off criticism about Lingle’s speech being blatant campaigning even though Carroll was told this would not be allowed.

“I don’t see anything in her speech that could be construed as a campaign message,” said Lingle supporter Miriam Hellreich.

Here’s a brief recap of the first part of Ms. Lingle’s speech:

“Hello, press 3 for speech, press 6 for sign waving.  Hello I am LindaLingle, vote for me.  I am the only candidate.  Please ignore that John Carroll man in the lobby.  We put him next to the Ron Paul and Willes Lee tables  for a reason.  He is not a candidate…I am the only candidate.  Hello, my name is Linda Lingle.  Vote for me. Must build more robots, must build more robots….pause, pause, pause. Deleted.  OK.  Please disregard the previous statement it is not relevant and has been deleted. Hello, I am Linda Lingle.  Vote for me.”

State Representative Pine Latest Victim of Dirty Cyber Trickster?

Kym Pine most likely did not approve her latest official email.

CivilBeat reported on the apparent hacking of Representative Kymberly Pine’s email. Though not as newsworthy as Congressman Weiner’s weiner,  had a very familiar M.O.

One “Ewa Resident” in the political consulting business with a pattern of ending his professional relationships with an explosion of controversy and slander is one Eric Ryan. Is he the latest mystery hacker?

It sounds awfully familiar.

One of Ryan’s previous clients, the fringe Republican candidate, John Carroll, got the “treatment” a couple of years ago. Carroll’s website, administrated by Ryan, mysteriously morphed into an anti-Carroll hate screed after an apparent falling out between the two. “CitizensForCarroll.com” (now removed) became a pseudo-official-looking, campaign spending commission complaint portal listing Mr. Carroll’s crimes (real and imagined). The motivation was a combination of unpaid invoices owed to Ryan and that pesky little

If this is the official CitizensForCarroll website, I'd hate to see CitizensAGAINSTCarroll.

matter of Carroll’s office being investigated by the police and FBI for cyber crimes involving forged email. Seems that someone inside Carroll’s office, then the hub of the Anti-Mufi, Anti-Rail faction that had been banished by Cliff Slater, was running a dirty tricks operation. Inflammatory emails purported to originate from Hannemann appointees were traced back to Carroll’s office and his “tenant” Eric Ryan.

Before the shit hit the fan, Ryan and Carroll, the self-anointed champions of all things anti-rail, were knocking themselves out to make the phony accusations stick to Hannemann and one of his advisors, Keith Rollman. Venomous Ryan-authored websites and press releases sprouted like poison mushrooms, and lawyerly letters were penned by Carroll to the Mayor demanding the firing of the falsely accused “conspirators.”

“Now that this evidence has surfaced and we know who’s involved, you need to do the right thing.” wrote Carroll.

Ryan also continued to flood the internet with propaganda right to the bitter end:

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“I am certain that Rollman, who probably has the technical knowhow to cover his tracks and the access to the entire City e-mail directory to send e-mails to fellow City employees, is completely responsible for both the disgusting website and the offensive e-mail.”

Eric Ryan (Oct. 31, 2008)

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But, the tide had turned. There was a lot of “evidence” mounting alright, but it wasn’t the sort that Carroll found comforting. The Hannemann campaign and Rollman clearly had no part in hatching the offensive Website or phony forged emails.

At some point during the investigation, Carroll slowly became aware that he had been duped and had foolishly cultivated a tank of political piranhas in his office and began to retreat. At this point Ryan was apparently asked to leave, and began his obsessive anti-John Carroll campaign. Ryan’s tone regarding the previous going’s on, and his fanatical and strident accusations against Hannemann and Rollman then flipped 180 degrees. He now openly acknowledged that they were “framed” and that the acts were indeed “criminal,” but said his colleagues were responsible.

In this undated press release, Ryan tries to “come clean” by throwing his friends under the bus:

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Eric Ryan would not comment on the multiple documented similarities between the elements of the computer crime perpetrated against this state legislator and her office manager while Dan Douglass worked for that legislator and those of the computer crime perpetrated against Keith Rollman and Mufi Hanneman during the heat of the rail initiative and mayoral campaigns in September 2008 during a time when Dan Douglass served as campaign coordinator for Stop Rail Now and while he worked John Carroll’s office for over a year during 2008-2009. Both crimes apparently involve using the identical technique of creating a fake e-mail address with Gmail and using those accounts to distribute disparaging information purportedly from and about the owners of those accounts to unsuspecting recipients.”

“Ryan only said: Since these two identical crimes with strikingly identical methods and seemingly identical motives (getting someone fired) are currently being actively investigated by police and prosecutors, I will wait to see what the criminal justice system concludes before making any comment.  Clearly, Douglass confessed to precisely the same elements of the crime seen in both cases and it’s not hard to put two and two together.”

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Ryan is currently on the public payroll on the staff of Councilman Tom Berg. Berg should be very, very careful to pay his “consultant” bills on time.