Hawaii Republican Assembly taken over by Eric Cartman

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Eric Cartman in the HIRA headquarters

In a startling turn of events the Hawaii Republican Assembly (HIRA) has been taken over by a cartoon character from Comedy Central’s South Park.

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Cartman memes are flooding Facebook…usually soliciting money.

According to Wikipedia, Eric Cartman’s profile bodes ill for Hawaii’s Republicans:Cartman has been portrayed as aggressive, prejudiced, arrogant, and narcissistic since his character’s inception; Stone and Parker describe the character as “a little Archie Bunker“. These traits are significantly augmented in later seasons as his character evolves, and he begins to exhibit extremely psychopathic, sociopathic and manipulative behavior, and also be depicted as highly intelligent, able to execute morally appalling plans and business ideas with success.”

Stone and Parker apologized for their cartoon creation escaping to Hawaii and causing so much damage.

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Eric Cartman demanded a large bag of Cheesey Poofs before he consented to an interview.

The once effective voice of conservative ideas in Hawaii, HIRA has deteriorated into a squalid mess of vicious online trolling and relentless jackassery under Cartman. We were able to find only three former HIRA members who were willing to admit they are still associated with the organization.

We contacted Eric and asked him directly how he became “president” of HIRA in spite of the lack of any meeting or election.

Cartman responded, “Your breaking my balls man, your breaking my balls!”

When asked if he was actually ever elected to be the leader of HIRA, Eric stated, “I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive.”

In addition to attacking all elected Republicans, HIRA, under Cartman, will focus on killing hippies and acquiring Jew gold.

We explained that many see his constant trolling and pointless Internet attacks as destructive to the Republican and conservative cause in Hawaii, he shrugged and said, “”Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Ohhh, the tears of immeasurable sadness! Yummy, you guys!”

When it was suggested that the best thing he could do to help conservatives and Hawaii’s GOP is to quit HIRA, leave Hawaii and focus on being a cartoon buffoon on South Park he became angry.

He shouted, “Screw you guys, I’m going home!” and ended the interview.

Hawaii’s conservative organization, HIRA, slings itself against the brick wall.

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New President of HIRA doomed to explode on impact

The new, and apparently unelected, “President” of the Hawaii Republican Assembly (HIRA), Eric Ryan, has now also claimed the title of “Chairman” of their new “Super PAC;” entitled The Phoenix Project., this fledgling insurrection of Hawaii’s “true Republicans” will presumably rise from the ashes of the Republican Party – assuming Eric succeeds in burning it to the ground.

Some of Hawaii’s Republicans are revolting.

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Snakes don’t usually advocate for draining swamps.

Many view this whole “Phoenix” thing as a deeply personal, symbolic effort for Eric because his career and finances appear to be a heap of charred, smoking debris. Some are deeply suspicious of the fate of any check mailed to, or pledged on any of the numerous “donation” buttons that now abound on HIRA websites.

Ryan has sustained a string of humiliating failures in his attempts to become a political “player” in Hawaii having been fired from every single rung of the career ladder which he had fleetingly clung to. He has emerged, yet again, as the newly minted President of HIRA. No one knows exactly how this happened as HIRA’s previous President, Tito Montes, had vehemently denied Ryan’s involvement with the organization up until he inexplicably disappeared himself.

Those in the know could see Eric’s trademark trolling in HIRA’s communications and Internet presence way before Tito ran for the hills. Eric was perhaps at his most effective in his old Tea Party days when he pranced around at anti-tax rallies in an overstuffed pink pig suit. Since then, his ability to communicate has deteriorated into an incessant droning about the need to purge RINOS (Republicans In Name Only)…which now includes damn near everyone but himself. He would like nothing better than to take over the Hawaii GOP and make them all pay (both literally and figuratively).

His goal has become painfully transparent. He is seeking revenge upon the Republican establishment which has failed to recognize and reward his immense talent and political brilliance…but soon, as the new Chairman of the Hawaii GOP, he will rise from the ashes to vanquish his detractors, they will laugh at him no more, as he flaps his mighty wings and flies above them in his tattered pink pig suit. [Eric’s fantasy sequence shown in italic]

Or, as it will be known to Hawaii’s future political historians…the day pigs flew.

Civil Beat Down

I have nothing against CivilBeat, I fork over my subscription fee,  and think they practice pretty good journalism (for a blog).  I’d like to help them focus…and perhaps refine their product a bit.  For instance their recent story entitled A Lewd, Offensive and Racist Hawaiian Tale contained a lot of valuable news. Unfortunately, it also contained a lot of fluff, leading misinformation and extraneous material as well as some glaring factual errors.  For instance, it misrepresented my role with a recent political campaign, and when sent a correction…chose to ignore it.  Sometimes my name (Rollman) has one “n,”  somtimes two…like a certain politician they seem to be hard on.  Freudian slip?

I would like to present a re-edited version of their original story (I didn’t change a single word).  I put the material into a logical sequence, dropped the extraneous flourishes and unsubstantiated conjecture, gave it a snappy new headline and voila…real news.  And lose the cartoon…it sucks (just kidding…it’s the best part).

Harrassment Prosecution Stalls At City Hall

Online aliases, crude impersonations, racist language and images — all of it amounting to criminal-level harassment .

Rollman’s complaint also alleged that a Sept. 15 [2008] email from mufihannemann@gmail.com was sent to city employees and others, and linked to firepanos.wordpress.com. Rollmann [sic] alleged that the emails suggested he wrote the email as well, although Rollman told police he had nothing to do with it.

The email — Van Marter refers to it as “the offending e-mail” — was traced by investigators to an Internet-provider address assigned to the law offices of John Carroll, where Ryan shared office space.

The Prosecutors Office and HPD also interviewed Carroll and determined that “the offending e-mail” came from Ryan’s own computer.

Van Marter writes that his office recovered an audio recording from firepanos.wordpress.com of Ryan impersonating Rollman, adding, “it includes offensive comments that a reasonable person would construe as harassment.”

At the conclusion of his letter to Chief Kealoha, Prosecutor Van Marter said there was “sufficient evidence to believe” that Ryan sent the email and posted the recording.

Rollman alleged that the website firepanos.wordpress.com contained racist and offensive remarks and images directed toward one of Hannemann’s primary opponents, Panos Prevedouros. Rollman claimed it was made to appear that Hannemann controlled the site.

Firepanos.wordpress.com and a website called anybodybutmufi.com were also believed, according to Van Marter’s letter, to be linked to Carroll and Ryan. Subpoenaed records later confirmed the connection.

Calling the circumstances “unique,” Van Marter said his office declined to prosecute, “even though evidence is sufficient to prove Ryan’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.”

Reached by Civil Beat via email Friday, Ryan wrote:

All I’ll say is what I told (KITV Reporter Daryl) Huff: On January 26th, at Tom Berg’s swearing in, Doug Chin made a beeline for me and introduced himself in order to apologize on behalf of himself and former city prosecutor turned mayor Carlisle for the Rollman complaint and investigation. This apology has been memorialized in a City e-mail.

[Editor’s Note: With the exception of the headline, this story is excerpted from Honolulu CivilBeat 6/24/2011 verbatim]

WATCH FOR “HATCHETED BY HUFF,” NEXT ON ATOMIC MONKEY

Eric Ryan, Will Hack For Food

When originally contacted at the Kym Pine is a Crook headquarters, Ryan said he had no knowledge of her hacked email.

According to CivilBeat:

“The chief of staff to Honolulu City Council member Tom Berg hacked Rep. Kymberly Pine’s website and government email account and is responsible for putting up postings and sending out an email calling her ‘a crook’.”

When finally cornered, Ryan seemed to rely on a food deprivation defense and accused Pine of “stealing food right from the mouths of Ewa Beach residents.”

Ryan lives in Ewa Beach.

Ryan’s focus on food continued, “Pine learned the hard way that if you break into someone’s house and steal the food, you can’t complain if the milk is sour.”

It is not known if Ryan’s obsession with food was responsible for his falling out with his previous clients John Carroll and Stop Rail Now.

READ MORE

State Representative Pine Latest Victim of Dirty Cyber Trickster?

Kym Pine most likely did not approve her latest official email.

CivilBeat reported on the apparent hacking of Representative Kymberly Pine’s email. Though not as newsworthy as Congressman Weiner’s weiner,  had a very familiar M.O.

One “Ewa Resident” in the political consulting business with a pattern of ending his professional relationships with an explosion of controversy and slander is one Eric Ryan. Is he the latest mystery hacker?

It sounds awfully familiar.

One of Ryan’s previous clients, the fringe Republican candidate, John Carroll, got the “treatment” a couple of years ago. Carroll’s website, administrated by Ryan, mysteriously morphed into an anti-Carroll hate screed after an apparent falling out between the two. “CitizensForCarroll.com” (now removed) became a pseudo-official-looking, campaign spending commission complaint portal listing Mr. Carroll’s crimes (real and imagined). The motivation was a combination of unpaid invoices owed to Ryan and that pesky little

If this is the official CitizensForCarroll website, I'd hate to see CitizensAGAINSTCarroll.

matter of Carroll’s office being investigated by the police and FBI for cyber crimes involving forged email. Seems that someone inside Carroll’s office, then the hub of the Anti-Mufi, Anti-Rail faction that had been banished by Cliff Slater, was running a dirty tricks operation. Inflammatory emails purported to originate from Hannemann appointees were traced back to Carroll’s office and his “tenant” Eric Ryan.

Before the shit hit the fan, Ryan and Carroll, the self-anointed champions of all things anti-rail, were knocking themselves out to make the phony accusations stick to Hannemann and one of his advisors, Keith Rollman. Venomous Ryan-authored websites and press releases sprouted like poison mushrooms, and lawyerly letters were penned by Carroll to the Mayor demanding the firing of the falsely accused “conspirators.”

“Now that this evidence has surfaced and we know who’s involved, you need to do the right thing.” wrote Carroll.

Ryan also continued to flood the internet with propaganda right to the bitter end:

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“I am certain that Rollman, who probably has the technical knowhow to cover his tracks and the access to the entire City e-mail directory to send e-mails to fellow City employees, is completely responsible for both the disgusting website and the offensive e-mail.”

Eric Ryan (Oct. 31, 2008)

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But, the tide had turned. There was a lot of “evidence” mounting alright, but it wasn’t the sort that Carroll found comforting. The Hannemann campaign and Rollman clearly had no part in hatching the offensive Website or phony forged emails.

At some point during the investigation, Carroll slowly became aware that he had been duped and had foolishly cultivated a tank of political piranhas in his office and began to retreat. At this point Ryan was apparently asked to leave, and began his obsessive anti-John Carroll campaign. Ryan’s tone regarding the previous going’s on, and his fanatical and strident accusations against Hannemann and Rollman then flipped 180 degrees. He now openly acknowledged that they were “framed” and that the acts were indeed “criminal,” but said his colleagues were responsible.

In this undated press release, Ryan tries to “come clean” by throwing his friends under the bus:

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Eric Ryan would not comment on the multiple documented similarities between the elements of the computer crime perpetrated against this state legislator and her office manager while Dan Douglass worked for that legislator and those of the computer crime perpetrated against Keith Rollman and Mufi Hanneman during the heat of the rail initiative and mayoral campaigns in September 2008 during a time when Dan Douglass served as campaign coordinator for Stop Rail Now and while he worked John Carroll’s office for over a year during 2008-2009. Both crimes apparently involve using the identical technique of creating a fake e-mail address with Gmail and using those accounts to distribute disparaging information purportedly from and about the owners of those accounts to unsuspecting recipients.”

“Ryan only said: Since these two identical crimes with strikingly identical methods and seemingly identical motives (getting someone fired) are currently being actively investigated by police and prosecutors, I will wait to see what the criminal justice system concludes before making any comment.  Clearly, Douglass confessed to precisely the same elements of the crime seen in both cases and it’s not hard to put two and two together.”

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Ryan is currently on the public payroll on the staff of Councilman Tom Berg. Berg should be very, very careful to pay his “consultant” bills on time.

The Tea Party Comes to City Hall

Councilman Tom Berg and his Senior Advisor, Eric Ryan, are bringing a new approach and a lot of old baggage to City Hall.

The first red flag went up on the evening of the special election, where the victor, Tom Berg, blurted out, “It’s not just my victory, it’s a victory of an ideology.”

That “ideology” happens to be a peculiar homegrown brand of the ultra conservative Tea Party.

This is a pretty precocious statement considering that Berg won the election with a scant 18% of the votes cast, and that just 12,524 of the 53,753 mail-in ballots came back at all. Berg received just over 2,000 votes total, approximately the same amount he got in his two previous losing campaigns for a State House seat. This is no mandate or ideological shift.

The constituents of District 1, from Kaena Point to Ewa Beach will also soon discover that part of Councilman Berg’s victorious “ideology” involves fighting the city’s rapid transit system that they overwhelmingly favor.

Berg has been an outspoken critic of rail, and recently hired long-time anti-rail zealot Eric Ryan to be his Senior Advisor (jumbo-sized red flag). Ryan made himself highly visible as the “Campaign Manager” for Stop Rail Now, until relieved of his duties by Cliff Slater. He then formed the look-alike group “Rail Truth Now” and launched various petition drives to try to kill the project. It remains to be seen how Council District 1 residents will react to their new anti-rail “representation,” as they have been, by far, the most supportive area on the Island for building rail.

This might also explain Berg’s curious quest to become the Chair of the City Council Transportation Committee even though the chairmanships were assigned before his election. According to CivilBeat: Earlier this month, Berg said he would campaign to reorganize so he could chair the Transportation Committee.”

Yet another red flag.

It’s not just on the issue of rail where this dynamic duo has a well documented past, but it is the one connection between them that pops out.

Berg told the StarAdvertiser that he and Ryan have “left the baggage at the door” at Honolulu Hale.

It could well be that, between the two of them, there is so much baggage that it won’t fit inside the building.

One example is from September 22, 2008. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin reported on Berg’s house race against his former boss:

Tom Berg, had been her [Democrat Rida Cabanilla’s] legislative office manager for three years before being dismissed earlier this year.”

“Berg was let go after it was learned that he was a supporter of the effort to stop the county’s proposed $4 billion rail transit project, which Cabanilla supports.”

“This is the office of District 42, I am your boss, your job is to support the things that I believe in,” Cabanilla said of Berg’s dismissal. “You are not to have your own private agenda and that’s what he did.”

It may only be a matter of time before the new Councilman’s constituents get Tea-ed off too.