Trump’s hair attacks Jeb Bush at debate.

Trumps hair leapt onto Jeb Bush's face and scratched him.

Trump’s hair leapt onto Jeb Bush’s face and scratched him.

Jeb Bush sporting some deep scratches from his run in with out of control hair ball.

a stunned Jeb Bush sporting some deep scratches from his run in with out of control hair ball.

During a heated exchange between the candidates Donald Trump’s hair jumped onto the top of his podium and leapt directly onto Jeb Bush. It stayed attached to his face for several seconds while Bush screamed in pain.  Only after Chris Christie grabbed the snarling fur ball and kicked it did it return to The Donald’s head and settle down.

“I’ve never seen it do that before!”exclaimed a distraught Bush. “It usually just sits there.”

Marco Rubio wasn’t surprised by the outburst, “I thought Trump was sporting a man-bun until the dam thing turned and looked right at me…when it started to hiss I knew it was going to go off on Jeb.”

No Lame Masterdebater Jokes Here

Obama’s disasterous debate performance evokes Liberal hand wringing.

It’s pretty obvious to everyone that President Obama got his clock cleaned by Mitt Romney in their first major televised berate. The spectacle left Liberals fuming. Even faux conservative pundit Steven Colbert looked like he was actually relishing Chris Mathew’s near psychotic implosion. (Could he be a real conservative just pretending to be a sarcastic liberal pretending to be a conservative?)

But, fallout continues from a portion of one Romney barb about refusing to “fund PBS  with money borrowed from China.”  The Democratic response, like all of Obama’s other debate responses, came 24 hours later.  Liberal wordsmiths like to condense things into short sound bites that make their messages more palatable to the average half-wit voter. So, the current battle cry is “Mitt Fired Big Bird.”

PBS reacted promptly by changing the tone of their broadcasts, with some of the most controversial alterations appearing on Sesame Street. The long running children’s program has never before dwelled on current politics or used profanity before, but that is all different now.

“There’s nothing wrong with borrowing money from China,” said Marvin Goldberger, an executive with PBS.  “In fact, the Chinese have been very helpful in addition to the funding by helping us produce and edit our shows.”

“They got us hooked up with the Palestinians who are way ahead of us in combining important political messaging and children’s programming. They helped us write the new segment were Ernie and Bert are brutally machine gunned by fascist Republican terrorists,” added Goldberger.

A new, rawer, Big Bird left little doubt about his displeasure with Romney’s planned funding cuts.

Not everyone has warmed up to the new PBS.  One mother of two toddlers (who wished to remain nameless), said she had to hit the off switch when Big Bird started dropping the “F” bomb. “I know their mad at Romney,” she said “But, I think they are overreacting.”