Hawaii’s conservative organization, HIRA, slings itself against the brick wall.


New President of HIRA doomed to explode on impact

The new, and apparently unelected, “President” of the Hawaii Republican Assembly (HIRA), Eric Ryan, has now also claimed the title of “Chairman” of their new “Super PAC;” entitled The Phoenix Project., this fledgling insurrection of Hawaii’s “true Republicans” will presumably rise from the ashes of the Republican Party – assuming Eric succeeds in burning it to the ground.

Some of Hawaii’s Republicans are revolting.


Snakes don’t usually advocate for draining swamps.

Many view this whole “Phoenix” thing as a deeply personal, symbolic effort for Eric because his career and finances appear to be a heap of charred, smoking debris. Some are deeply suspicious of the fate of any check mailed to, or pledged on any of the numerous “donation” buttons that now abound on HIRA websites.

Ryan has sustained a string of humiliating failures in his attempts to become a political “player” in Hawaii having been fired from every single rung of the career ladder which he had fleetingly clung to. He has emerged, yet again, as the newly minted President of HIRA. No one knows exactly how this happened as HIRA’s previous President, Tito Montes, had vehemently denied Ryan’s involvement with the organization up until he inexplicably disappeared himself.

Those in the know could see Eric’s trademark trolling in HIRA’s communications and Internet presence way before Tito ran for the hills. Eric was perhaps at his most effective in his old Tea Party days when he pranced around at anti-tax rallies in an overstuffed pink pig suit. Since then, his ability to communicate has deteriorated into an incessant droning about the need to purge RINOS (Republicans In Name Only)…which now includes damn near everyone but himself. He would like nothing better than to take over the Hawaii GOP and make them all pay (both literally and figuratively).

His goal has become painfully transparent. He is seeking revenge upon the Republican establishment which has failed to recognize and reward his immense talent and political brilliance…but soon, as the new Chairman of the Hawaii GOP, he will rise from the ashes to vanquish his detractors, they will laugh at him no more, as he flaps his mighty wings and flies above them in his tattered pink pig suit. [Eric’s fantasy sequence shown in italic]

Or, as it will be known to Hawaii’s future political historians…the day pigs flew.

City uses federal anti-immigrant funds for major wall projects


Caldwell: If Trump wants walls, we’ll give him walls.

You may have noticed the city’s first major wall project sprout up at Thomas Square.

Major Caldwell announced today that Honolulu has accepted millions of dollars in federal funding earmarked for erecting immigrant barrier walls.

Trump administration officials praised Mayor Caldwell and Honolulu for being among the first major municipalities to sign the “We Ain’t No Stinkin Sanctuary” pledge and receive the federal funds.

According to Mayor Caldwell, the Trump administration made the funding available based on the city’s report that many of the homeless currently invading Honolulu’s city parks appear to be Mexicans or Muslims.

The Mayor conceded, “We fudged the ‘Mexican’ thing a little bit in order to get the feds to bite, but there’s a heck of a lot of money up for grabs.”


Honolulu will continue to construct walls, like this one at Thomas Square, as long as federal funds hold out.

“We needed the money to help combat homelessness,” said Caldwell. “Since the bums head straight for the parks, we thought building a wall would slow them down and get them to move elsewhere.”

After numerous failed attempts to curb the homeless in urban Honolulu, the Mayor’s team though the walls might finally provide the answer. Since the Thomas Square wall went up reports of homeless (or anyone else) in the park have dropped dramatically.

The city said walls around Ala Moana Beach Park should completed by the end of March.

The Berenstein Bears and other Alternative Facts

screen-shot-2017-01-23-at-9-14-34-pmI’m convinced that the term Alternative Facts, that slipped out during a recent Trump press conference, is a real thing. A memory implantation strategy that strives to create a collective false memory or what has become known as the Mandela Effect.

The term “Mandela Effect” was coined by self-described “paranormal consultant” Fiona Broome, who has written on her web site that she first became aware of the phenomenon after discovering that she shared a particular false memory — that South African human rights activist and president Nelson Mandela died in prison during the 1980s (he actually died in 2013) — with many other people. Then she began noticing other examples.

Screen Shot 2017-01-23 at 7.45.45 PM.pngOne well known example of the Mandela Effect is the Berenstain Bears. Many people (currently 77% according to one survey) insist that it is and has always been the Berenstein Bears. The creators, Stan and Jan Berenstain should know. This collective misconception is not unique.

False memory experts explain the Mandela Effect as confabulation, where different memories get mixed together to create something that a person comes to believe is true. With the advent of mass media, this phenomenon can be quite contagious and actually implanted by mass media; where it is quite possible for a majority of our population to believe something to be true when it is not.

We aren’t talking about old fashioned propaganda or Winston rewriting old news clippings in Orwell’s 1984. That’s the antiquated and tedious way to control people.

The Internet has made the proliferation of messaging and implanting of facts and/or “alternate facts,” constant and pervasive. We’ve never been exposed to this level of constant competition for our minds. Every modern political faction and every ally they have in the mass media business wants you to subscribe to their version of reality.

The current polarization we are experiencing in our political dialog is the deliberate and inevitable result of this contrived tug of war. Both sides lie and manipulate equally, there is no good or bad forces in play; just different power structures competing for your loyalty.

Just think about the lack of genuine dialog on subjects like climate change, immigration policy or Republicans vs Democrats. We are trained to see black and white, good guys and bad guys…and we are all deceived.

Advances in communication technologies have now made us sitting ducks for manipulation. Internet memes, for example, are overt symbols of this conflict of ideas; with their constant exposure, and viral replication they can implant false information that can easily become an accepted truth by a majority of people in a very short period of time. A Mandela effect of consensus bullshit. Alternate facts, if you will. The proliferation of “fake news” may provide the most extreme method of implanting these false realities, especially when they are in turn converted to bite-sized memes and flooded into brains perpetually tuned into the Internet.

So, with the lines between what’s real and what’s an “alternative fact” becoming so blurred, it is very possible that a majority of our population firmly believes “alternate facts” that have been implanted. Maybe we are simply pawns goaded into promoting one of two competing false realities.

Wake up your latent intellectual curiosity.

You should re-examine every single belief that you hold dear and determine just how it got into your head in the first place; and then get off your ass and research whether it was ever true at all. Because…everything you know may be wrong.



Book Review: Campaign Hawaii

Caption: The book’s cover appropriately features union worker’s lined up waving campaign signs because they are afraid not to.

The book’s cover appropriately features union workers lined up waving campaign signs for Democrats because they’re afraid not to.

By Atom Monk

Campaign Hawaii by Rick Tsujimura is possibly the worst book written since Neil Abercrombie’s Blood of Patriots.

As a writer, Tsujimura, should stick to the backroom shenanigans of a Democrat insider where he truly excels. His prose style can best be described as lawyerly, ponderous and sleep-inducing.

Tsujimura meticulously footnotes various sources that were biased op-ed bullshit the day they were published. Presenting them as settled fact today will not make them smell any better.

Tucked between the stupefying platitudes are nuggets of stunningly pompous self-congratulatory twaddle. This is another in a long line of “Democrat good…Republican bad” opuscules churned out by party apparatchiks who can’t bend over far enough for the totalitarian regime that has lorded over Hawaii for over 50 years.


Rick Tsujimura

Tsujimura repeatedly conjures up the metaphor of “sparrows” to portray the loyal, faceless, humble worker bees of Democrat grassroots campaigns. Anybody who has ever eaten outdoors at a McDonalds knows that sparrows are flying rats hell bent on stealing your food. They will also gleefully shit on your table. Tsujimura judiciously omits the parts where his noble “sparrows” stayed up all night running fax machines in order to slander their political enemies or when they launched massive defamatory whispering/chirping campaigns.

If you like to wallow in sanctimonious manure about imaginary moral superiority (coming from a lawyer) you may find merit with this onerous snooze fest. If you like to endure the gushing deification of garden-variety political operatives this outright corruption of history will be a delight.

The most unforgivable aspect of this unfortunate literary black hole is that it is relentlessly boring and unreadable. Take for example this turn of snappy prose:

“Because of the possibility of revenue shortfalls, I recommended that budget and service cutback contingencies be put in place.”

Or, this revelatory maxim about a winning political strategy:

“We often spread our sign holders about five to six feet apart, although ten feet is really preferable, because of the angle of sight as people drive by…”

Do yourself a favor and buy a good bottle of wine at Costco rather than waste the outrageous $17 for this paperback propaganda leaflet.

We rate this book: no votes

The return of the Walking Dead…Candidate.

The army of the undead socialist zombies has returned and they’re not taking “no” for a answer.

The army of the undead socialist zombies has returned and they’re not taking “no” for a answer.

Today Hillary Clinton announced that she will join the campaign to recount votes in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and other states.  The effort was originally started by Green Party candidate Jill Stein to prove that she was not beaten in Texas by Harambe the dead gorilla. Stein was pleasantly surprised by a $5 million check from George Soros and the eager participation of the Clinton campaign.

According to Hillary there was systematic suppression of dead voters by the Russians and others.  “We must have a true democracy where all people, dead or living, Amercian citizens or just bussed in from Guadalajara, have the right to vote,” said Clinton. “and, voting more than once is just indicative of their enthusiasm for participating in our democracy and should be encouraged.”

She also renewed her attacks on Trump calling him a “necrophobe” for his disparaging remarks about voters who had allegedly died. “Do we look dead to you!” shouted Hillary to her attentive entourage, who immediately started a resounding chant.  “What do want? Republican brains!”  When do you want them? NOW!”

When asked by a reporter from FOX news about her previous statements, made during the heat of the campaign,  calling Trump “unAmerican and a sore loser” should he reject the results of the election; Clinton told the reporter to “Fuck Off,” and ate her face.

History Channel – Hunting Hitler reveals startling new information


Host of Hunting Hitler reveals startling news

The History Channel’s Hunting Hitler has uncovered shocking new information that may prove once and for all that Adolf Hiter escaped Germany at the end of WWII and is alive today! The show had meticulously traced the movement of the fugitive dictator to Argentina, along with many of his minions. This included the nefarious “Angel of Death,” Dr. Josef Mengele.


Photo of Hitler artificially “aged” by 70 years reveals shocking image.


Computer “aging” of Hitler’s face reveals the unmistakable likeness of George Soros.

The show contacted the FBI missing persons forensic laboratory in Washington, DC to process the last know photographs of Adolf Hitler and show what he could look like at different points in time if he had lived. Only when they dialed it up to a startling 70 years (which would make Hitler 127 years old!) did it reveal the shocking image show above. George Soros refused to respond to the shows inquires and his current whereabouts are unknown.

Freedom of information requests finally reveal what was found in Dr. Mengele’s secret laboratory in Argentina in 1979.


Dr. Josef Mengele (AKA Wolfgang Gerhard) left a treasure-trove of evidence in his secret Argentine laboratory.

Recently revealed classified reports, sealed since the late 70’s) show that several frozen clones of what appeared to be Adolf Hitler and Heinrich Himmler. Curiously, there was a heart and kidney extracted from one of the Himmers in the process of being packed from shipment to the United States – marked as “spare parts for James Carville.” The sophisticated cloning and organ harvesting operation could explain how Hitler could have survived to this day in the grotesque form of a 127 years old Soros-like creature.

The shows proposes the theory that under the false identity of billionaire George Soros, Adolf Hilter has maintained his quest for world domination and the imposition of a Fourth Nazi Reich to this very day.

Hillary’s celebrity supporters fleeing the country

Making good on their promise to leave the country if Donald Trump were to be elected President of the United States many of Hillary Clintons celebrity endorsers have either been caught at the border, or have disappeared altogether.


Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg were found hiding in a container of frozen cod headed for Montreal, Canada and charged with immigration violations.

Many cite Trump’s crudeness and demeaning of women

screen-shot-2016-11-09-at-11-34-19-amSnoop Dog, already out of the country shooting new video Doggy Style 5 – Pre-Teens Gone Wild, said that Trump’s treatment of women offended him.

“That orange freak is disrespectful to his bitches,” said an outraged Snoop Dog. “We don’t be grabbing no pussy less we pays fo it.”

Mr. Dog said he would continue with his new film career in Mexico with funding from the Clinton Foundation rather than return to the U.S. under Trump.

J Lo’s butt recently spoke at a Hillary rally and said it was offended by Trump’s exploitation of women.

J Lo’s butt recently spoke at a Hillary rally and criticized some of Trump’s remarks as disrespectful of women’s dignity. She will be moving to Guatemala in December.

Katy Perry said Trump is a bad role model for young children.

Katy Perry said Trump is a bad role model for young children, and so she is moving to France.

Miley Cyrus has not been seen since issuing a terse critic of Trump’s “unhealthy sexual fixations."

Miley Cyrus has not been seen since issuing a terse critique of Trump’s “unhealthy sexual fixations.”

Trump Raped Entire Editorial Staff of the Huffington Post

Shortly after this photo was taken Trump burst into the room and ravished the entire editorial staff of the Huffington Post.

Shortly after this photo was taken Trump burst into the room and ravished the entire editorial staff of the Huffington Post.

Fourteen more women have now come forward to claim unwarranted sexual advances, or worse, from Donald Trump.  This brings it to a total of 432 reports of separate incidents and is perhaps the most damaging so far because all fourteen of the Huffington Post staffers claim that Trump raped all of them during one frenzied attack.

“We were just having our usual morning meeting where we talk about diversity and other prog stuff,”  said victim Erica Twit-Smoosh. “Then the door flew open and a completely naked Donald Trump burst into the room and started ripping all our clothes off…I, I can’t go on…the rest was too horrible…there was nothing we could do against such a brute.”

Victim No, 418 - Donna Brazille

Victim #418 – Donna Brazile “That honkey troll laid hands on my boobies too.”

This latest revelation, first reported by MSNBC comes on the heels of Donna Brazile’s emotional outburst a few days ago while being interviewed by Fox’s Meagan Kelly.  When being pressed about passing off the questions to Hillary Clinton ahead of time during the debates, Brazille blurted out that she also had been accosted by Trump.

“Forget bout that debate cheating shit, white girl…the real issue here is Donald Trump touching my Bootay!” yelled Brazille.  “That’s right, he be slapping his little pink hand all over my big B-O-O-T-A-Y!!!!

This unprecedented series of heartfelt and obviously true accusations proves beyond any reasonable doubt that ten years ago, Donald Trump inexplicably sexually assaulted every woman in the country who was to eventually become a die-hard supporter of Hillary Clinton.

Partial List of recent Trump Victims:

Victim #417 - Rosey O’Donnell “Trump fat-shamed me into becoming a lesbian

Victim #417 – Rosey O’Donnell “Trump fat-shamed me into becoming a lesbian.”

victim #416 - Debbie Wasserman-Shultz - “Trump undressed me with his eyes during a press conference.

victim #416 – Debbie Wasserman-Shultz – “Trump undressed me with his eyes during a press conference.”

Victim #415 - Maebus Roach “Donald said he loved me and took me to Itally on his private jet. I was so young and foolish.

Victim #415 – Maebus Roach “Donald said he loved me and took me to Itally on his private jet. I was so young and foolish.”

Victim #414 - Bruce Springstien “27 years ago Donald Trump touched my pee pee.”

Victim #414 – Bruce Springsteen “27 years ago Donald Trump touched my pee pee.”


Victim #413 – Fredricka Groat “I bore twin boys after Donald raped me. I demand a public apology and child support.”

News Flash

Lawyer Gloria Allred in all red.

Lawyer Gloria Allred in all red.

Today the Clinton Foundation announced that it as hired famous attorney Gloria Allred to represent all 432 Trump accusers in the massive class action lawsuit.  Allred offered a huge bulk-rate discount that closed the deal. She was also personally accosted by Trump making her victim #433