Vladimir Putin issued a tersely worded press statement today
Today the Russians responded to the U.S. attack on a Syrian airfield by 59 Tomahawk Missiles fired from two destroyers in the Mediterranean. The Russians were not pleased by the attack on their ally Bashar al-Assad’s forces and embarrassed by having several dozen missiles buzzing unmolested past their front-line missile defense system. The level of agitation is reflected in yesterday’s early morning exchange of tweets between Putin and Trump:
Every election season, like Christmas coming early, Hawaii looks forward to their Compare and Decide direct mail piece. Then they can responsibly discuss each candidate’s background and qualifications before voting. We all know to check who paid for the mailer and fully understand that the mailer will tend to favor the campaign that paid for it. That’s just a fact of modern elective politics; like the screeching bias of our local media for whatever establishment candidate they are in the tank for. Expect them to once again brand any advertising opposing their endorsed flunky to be negative, underhanded and deceptive.
This is how Hawaii has been duped into voting for the least qualified candidate year after year. But, this year, no matter who Hawaii’s voters choose, it will be guaranteed to be a horrible choice that will be disavowed by everyone in a few months (another Hawaii tradition).
Check you mailbox for the latest edition of Compare and Decide.
What many people believe to be Dr. Theodor Morell, Hilter’s personal physician shown to be on the scene at Hillary’s latest health crisis.
A man standing in the video of Hillary’s latest health meltdown has been positively identified by sophisticated facial recognition software as Theodor Morell, the ex-Nazi personal physician of Adolf Hitler. The mystery is further exacerbated by the fact that Dr. Morell supposedly died in 1948.
MSNBC reported that Clinton was “fatigued” and “stumbled” when departing the 9/11 event, but the video clearly shows Clinton writhing on the ground with her eyes rolled back in her head, and foaming at the mouth. She was twitching so violently that three Secret Service men had to sit on her so she would not bounce out into traffic.
At the scene, the man identified by Hillary’s entourage as Dr. Ted Murrel, a close friend of the Clintons, seemed to take charge. Witnesses said they heard the man yelling instructions in a thick German accent to the Secret Service detail, whom he addressed simply as the SS:
“Get zee old cow back to meine laboratory, Dummkopf! Schnell! She veel need zee injection.”
Photos showing Mrs Clinton before and immediately after “vitamin” injections by Dr. Murrel.
Later Clinton emerged from what was allegedly her daughter Chelsea’s apartment looking refreshed and chatted with reporters (the address was later traced to The Murrel Institute for Human Reanimation and Cryogenics). Dr. Murrel was asked about any medical treatment given to the candidate and whether he could provide more information on her condition. After attempting to wave off questions, Dr. Murrel relented and described Mrs. Clinton as being in remarkably good health and capable of climbing Mt. Everest if required. He said that she was simply overcome by the smell of the proletariat crowd and just needed some air and an injection of her special vitamin supplement. When pressed for what her medication actually contained, Dr. Murrel mumbled something about LSD, cocaine, Draino, meth, Crazy Glue and 151 Rum before he was whisked away by the security detail.
Dr. Murrel was introduced to the Clintons by George Soros (shown above) in 1987. Wikileaks has disclosed that Dr. Murrel (or as early records show Morell) has also been Mr. Soros’s personal physician since 1910. Other recently leaked information indicates that Soros has apparently died four times since his birth in 1847.
Sometimes satire writes itself (see actual news coverage of the planned “worlds largest fart-in” that will be featured at the Democrat Convention in Philly) I was going to write about the huge wall they are erecting to control people because of the shear irony, but then this little blast of brilliance leaked out.
As if the Democrat Party didn’t stink enough this week….
Philadelphia—Cheri Honkala, the leader of the Poor People’s Economic Human Rights Campaign, announced that her group was organizing the world’s largest “fart-in” to be held on July 28 at the Wells Fargo Center during Hillary Clinton’s anticipated acceptance speech for the Democratic nomination.
“We will be holding a massive bean supper for Bernie Sanders delegates on American Street in my Kensington neighborhood on the afternoon of July 28,” she said. “We are setting up a Clintonville there, modeled on the Hoovervilles of the 1930s where the poor and unemployed built shanty towns. The Sanders delegates, their bellies full of beans, will be able to return to the Wells Fargo Center and greet the rhetorical flatulence of Hillary Clinton with the real thing.”
Honkala said she would issue an invitation to Sanders to join the bean supper, which she is calling Beans for Hillary. She has asked donors to send cans of beans to 1301-W Porter Street, Philadelphia, Pa., 19148.
“Any remaining beans will be served to the homeless, although we will, of course, be urging Sanders delegates to eat as much as possible,” Honkala said.
Chris Hedges, an author and activist who is an ordained Presbyterian minister, will open the Beans for Hillary meal with a nondenominational prayer.
“I am happy to bless a meal that will be put to such effective political use,” Hedges said.
Here’s hoping Bernie himself gets in a few parting shots during his convention speech. We know the old geezer has it in him.
Will Hillary be basking in the warm ambiance of happy Dems expressing their appreciation?
Trump’s hair leapt onto Jeb Bush’s face and scratched him.
a stunned Jeb Bush sporting some deep scratches from his run in with out of control hair ball.
During a heated exchange between the candidates Donald Trump’s hair jumped onto the top of his podium and leapt directly onto Jeb Bush. It stayed attached to his face for several seconds while Bush screamed in pain. Only after Chris Christie grabbed the snarling fur ball and kicked it did it return to The Donald’s head and settle down.
“I’ve never seen it do that before!”exclaimed a distraught Bush. “It usually just sits there.”
Marco Rubio wasn’t surprised by the outburst, “I thought Trump was sporting a man-bun until the dam thing turned and looked right at me…when it started to hiss I knew it was going to go off on Jeb.”
Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!
Where is the point of no return?
As Political Correctness pushes the concept of “tolerance” to its impending breaking point…the correct answer is who the hell knows.
The feds issued a document last year that offered additional guidance on the decades-old law: “Title IX’s sex discrimination prohibition extends to claims of discrimination based on gender identity.”
This new interpretation allowed California (Hawaii will soon attempt to follow) to pass a law stipulating that students must be permitted to participate in sex-segregated school activities—like bathroom use and sports-team participation—based on the gender with which they identify, regardless of the sex listed for them in official records (in Hawaii you can now rewrite your birth certificate to align with your current delusions). So, not only can an individual “born as a male” compete with your daughter for a starting position on her team, but she will have to shower with him as well.
The ensuing chaos has led some Social Justice Warriors to dispense with gender-based pronouns like “he, she, hers or his” simply because of they couldn’t rationalize the absurdity of their own regulations and “fluid” nature of their new PC reality.
Stefonknee (formerly Paul) Wolscht
In related news, one Paul Wolscht left his wife and seven kids to live the rest of his life as God made him…a six year old girl named Stefonknee. Yes, Mr. Wolscht is both transgender and transage. Many would consider him simply mentally unstable with an overwhelming need to bail out on the demands of supporting his large family.
There used to be clinical diagnosis and treatment for this sort of mental breakdown, but now the victims are paraded as cultural heroes and given their own reality shows. It’s not politically correct to help them…we are forced to celebrate their illness as self-expression.
Regardless of how Wolscht got to this point, the Obama administration will undoubtedly pave his way to register in an elementary school near you where he will compete with the other little girls for a spot on the softball team and stalls in their ladies room.
(Sadly, this is NOT satire….it’s all true)
As Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers plummet, a new, fresh, furry face has emerged as a potential challenger. Limberbutt McCubbins, a cat from Kentucky, is gaining strong national support.
Clearly, when faced with the current choices limited to an obnoxious crook, a doddering old socialist, and possibly the biggest dufus to ever be Vice President of the United States, Dems are actively considering their non-human options.
McCubbins is running a strong campaign with his catchy slogan of “Meow is the Time!”
McCubbins is not the first cat to seek elective office. Incumbent Mayor Stubs of Talkeetna, Alaska was first elected in 1997.
Deez Nuts probes Limberbutt
Another new player in the presidential race is Deez Nuts, an Independent who has polled well in Iowa and North Carolina.
Nuts polled his fans on his Facebook page on August 13, 2015, asking whether he should reach out to fellow joke presidential hopeful, Kentucky feline Limberbutt McCubbins, for a possible Nuts/McCubbins ticket. Nuts has acknowledged McCubbins as an inspiration for his presidential run. McCubbins responded the same day, saying he was thrilled to have inspired Deez Nuts; however, he stopped short of endorsing Deez Nuts or agreeing to the potential ticket.