April 1, 2017, New York – Today, officials at Colombia University announced finalists for the 2017 Pulitzer Prize for online journalism.
“We are happy to announce the three finalists for the new category of online journalism including the HuffingtonPost.com, Breitbart.com and AtomicMonkey.biz,” said Dr. Oswald Mankowitz. “All three represent the very best in contemporary online disparagement, mockery, obfuscation and faux news.”
Dr. Mankowitz added, “I think it’s fitting that our finalists cover the full spectrum of political thought from ultra-liberal to extreme conservatism, to…well, we really don’t know what the hell it is.”
AtomicMonkey.com has been publishing online since 2010, and once earned a coveted “Pants on Fire” rating from PolitiFact for its coverage of the mysterious origins of President Obama’s long-form birth certificate. Widely rumored to be working for the Russians during last year’s presidential election, Atomic Monkey has remained the preeminent dumpster fire of political commentary in Hawaii .
Congratulatory emails have poured in to Honolulu’s Atomic Monkey following this unprecedented honor.
“You could have knocked me over with a damn feather.” Dave Shapiro, Honolulu StarAdvertiser
“Well done! A huge honor for Hawaii and for online satire, I guess.” Neil Abercrombie, former Governor
“Great news, well earned! We sure didn’t make it easy for you!” Richard Borreca, Honolulu StarAdvertiser
“I could always count on Atomic Monkey for the inside story and details lacking from our daily paper and TV news!” David Ige, Governor
“Atomic Monkey has the courage to say the things that should never be said. Ever.” Joe Moore, KHON2
“I mean you have to be F-ing kidding me…WTF?” Chad Blair, CivilBeat
A press release from Atomic Monkey was issued immediately following today’s announcement:
“We are thrilled to be included as a finalist for this year’s Pulitzers…and win or lose, we are encouraged that our brand of sloppy, off-the-cuff satire and shameless trolling have finally been recognized as on a par with the elite of mainstream journalism.”