Hawaii’s conservative organization, HIRA, slings itself against the brick wall.

angryericbird2

New President of HIRA doomed to explode on impact

The new, and apparently unelected, “President” of the Hawaii Republican Assembly (HIRA), Eric Ryan, has now also claimed the title of “Chairman” of their new “Super PAC;” entitled The Phoenix Project., this fledgling insurrection of Hawaii’s “true Republicans” will presumably rise from the ashes of the Republican Party – assuming Eric succeeds in burning it to the ground.

Some of Hawaii’s Republicans are revolting.

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Snakes don’t usually advocate for draining swamps.

Many view this whole “Phoenix” thing as a deeply personal, symbolic effort for Eric because his career and finances appear to be a heap of charred, smoking debris. Some are deeply suspicious of the fate of any check mailed to, or pledged on any of the numerous “donation” buttons that now abound on HIRA websites.

Ryan has sustained a string of humiliating failures in his attempts to become a political “player” in Hawaii having been fired from every single rung of the career ladder which he had fleetingly clung to. He has emerged, yet again, as the newly minted President of HIRA. No one knows exactly how this happened as HIRA’s previous President, Tito Montes, had vehemently denied Ryan’s involvement with the organization up until he inexplicably disappeared himself.

Those in the know could see Eric’s trademark trolling in HIRA’s communications and Internet presence way before Tito ran for the hills. Eric was perhaps at his most effective in his old Tea Party days when he pranced around at anti-tax rallies in an overstuffed pink pig suit. Since then, his ability to communicate has deteriorated into an incessant droning about the need to purge RINOS (Republicans In Name Only)…which now includes damn near everyone but himself. He would like nothing better than to take over the Hawaii GOP and make them all pay (both literally and figuratively).

His goal has become painfully transparent. He is seeking revenge upon the Republican establishment which has failed to recognize and reward his immense talent and political brilliance…but soon, as the new Chairman of the Hawaii GOP, he will rise from the ashes to vanquish his detractors, they will laugh at him no more, as he flaps his mighty wings and flies above them in his tattered pink pig suit. [Eric’s fantasy sequence shown in italic]

Or, as it will be known to Hawaii’s future political historians…the day pigs flew.

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