Today Hillary Clinton announced that she will join the campaign to recount votes in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and other states. The effort was originally started by Green Party candidate Jill Stein to prove that she was not beaten in Texas by Harambe the dead gorilla. Stein was pleasantly surprised by a $5 million check from George Soros and the eager participation of the Clinton campaign.
According to Hillary there was systematic suppression of dead voters by the Russians and others. “We must have a true democracy where all people, dead or living, Amercian citizens or just bussed in from Guadalajara, have the right to vote,” said Clinton. “and, voting more than once is just indicative of their enthusiasm for participating in our democracy and should be encouraged.”
She also renewed her attacks on Trump calling him a “necrophobe” for his disparaging remarks about voters who had allegedly died. “Do we look dead to you!” shouted Hillary to her attentive entourage, who immediately started a resounding chant. “What do want? Republican brains!” When do you want them? NOW!”
When asked by a reporter from FOX news about her previous statements, made during the heat of the campaign, calling Trump “unAmerican and a sore loser” should he reject the results of the election; Clinton told the reporter to “Fuck Off,” and ate her face.