Mizzou Professor Melissa Glick accosted an independent reporter today at a campus rally. She ordered the young man out of what she called a white privilege zone.
“You don’t have no civil rights round here!” Ms. Glick was heard screaming. “The U.S. Constitution is for white people, especially ugly-assed gingers likes me!”
“We don’t need no chinky Chinaman takin pitures like we was some dang tourist attraction,” added Glick.
The fact that Ms.Glick holds a doctorate has led some people to conclude that the longer someone studies at the University of Missouri the stupider they actually become.
The current Dean, at least for today, apologized for Ms Glick’s behavior and said that her racist outbursts were not helpful.
“God help us if we piss off the football team again this week, they could take this whole place down,” moaned the Dean.
“We don’t understand how this happened because we vet our professors diligently,” said the Dean. “They have to be sworn Marxists, athiests and vehemently anti-white or we weed them out!”
“One bad apple and we could lose our federal funding.” continued the flustered temporary replacement Dean. “We can’t have this ‘Constitution’ nonsense floating around campus.”