Federal agents take out Giggles, the terrorist baby deer

Following confirmation by aerial reconnaissance (actual fact), up to eight DNR agents and four sheriffs raided the Society of St. Francis, a “no kill” animal shelter in Wisconsin (actual fact).  They were looking for a fugitive baby deer the shelter volunteers had named “Giggles” because of the “laughing” sounds it made when excited.

"Giggles" could not elude armed federal agents.

“Giggles” could not elude armed federal agents.

Brought in by a family who thought the fawn may have been abandoned my its mother, the shelter had planned to take the deer to a wildlife rehabilitation center in neighboring Illinois the next day.

Unfortunately, the feds move fast when they are on an important public safety mission.  The twelve heavily armed, swat-like thugs were in no mood for taking prisoners.  After harassing other animals and humans, who had been harboring the fugitive fawn, the diminutive beast was confronted and, apparently refusing to surrender, was shot and killed.

It is not known how many times the hapless creature was hit, or which brave federal agent put his life on the line to put Osama Bin-Bambi down.

When asked why the armed feds had to kill the helpless animal they huffed, “It’s our policy.” They then proceeded to stuff Giggles into an oversized body bag.  It is not known whether the armed morons then reconvened to drink beer and high-five each other in order to decompress from the stressful combat assault experience.

DNR Warden Supervisor, Jennifer Niemeyer said the Federal agency had no choice because Giggles posed a “danger to humans”

The volunteers at St. Francis said they did not feel threatened or “in danger” from the tiny animal at any time. However, they did say that being bullied by heavily armed lunatics did pose an actual “danger to humans.”

It is not known what role the NSA played in the surveillance and apprehension of Giggles, but several of the St. Francis workers said they had “Twittered” a picture of the baby deer being fed a bottle.

Armed feds show questioning a cat.  It was determined that the cat was not a deer and it was released.

Armed feds shown questioning a cat. It was determined that the cat was not a deer and it was released.

The take-away: Idiots armed by the federal government who take orders from even bigger idiots in the government are a threat to every citizen of this country…and most animals.


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