Al Gore has switched from “going green” to going FOR the green. The sad truth is that Gore, chief architect of the Global Warming cause has sold out to petroleum interests. Gore’s fledgling broadcast network, Current TV, promoted as the face of sustainable energy and climate protection, was sold earlier this year to oil-rich Qatar and its Al Jazeera network. Al Jazeera previously got its best ratings by featuring Osama Bin Laden, and will use the newly acquired Current TV network to infiltrate the American market.
“We told Al that we would still feature the “Green” movement, but we didn’t tell the dummy that we meant Hamas,” said Sheik Yorbouti, the money behind Al Jazeera and its petroleum industry patrons. “I think Al realized that this global warming thing was pretty much debunked at this point…and who the hell wants to watch Keith Olbermann,” added the Sheik.
The Sheik is not known for being an especially ardent environmentalist. He made headlines two years ago when he hosted an exotic animal hunt in the dessert, where terrified polar bears were helicoptered in among the sand dunes and hunted down on camelback by the Sheik’s friends. It is also rumored that he offered the North Koreans a million dollars to capture Current TV Reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee and have them delivered to Qatar as his personal sex slaves.
“Al said it was LISA Ling, not her plain-looking sister,” said Yerbouti. “That whole deal fell apart pretty fast, and I made Al give his finder’s fee back!”
In ironically related developments, President Obama and Hawaii Senator Brian Shatz are threatening to “ridicule” anyone who still doesn’t believe in Gore’s climate change theories.