Vili The Warrior Charged With Wonder Concert Debacle

Vili appeared shocked by the accusation.

After a marathon secret meeting of University of Hawaii President Marcie Greenwood and the school’s Board of Regents yesterday, it was determined that the recent debacle involving a fundraiser for the U.H. Athletic Department was mishandled by the team mascot Vili the Warrior.  The fundraising concert was supposed to feature Stevie Wonder, but collapsed when money for the contract went missing. Last week U.H. administrators released Vili as the school mascot without elaborating on the reasons.

“I didn’t even know that we paid him,” said U.H. President Greenwood. “I’ve never attended a school sporting event, so I didn’t  know who he was.”

Vili was unavailable for comment, but a close friend said the bogus accusation of wrongdoing by the large, entertaining Tongan was not unexpected.  “They’ve been trying to get rid of him for years, and this was an opportunity to cover their own butts at the same time,” said Vili’s friend, who requested anonymity. “Shit rolls downhill around here,” he added.

U.H.’s Greenwood said that she would prefer a dancing taro leaf as the new mascot and offered sketches of the proposal.

There was little other information available from the secret meeting of the U.H. Administrators other than the fact they would divide a $200,000 stipend to offset the inconvenience of the unscheduled meeting.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s