Cayetano Banner Blaster Identified

Mrs. Schonenberger was identified from the surveilance footage as the shooter.

A recently installed security camera along Nimitz highway has apparently captured a photo of the persons responsible for the bullet holes in Ben Cayetano’s banner at Cycle City.  The woman on the video tape, shown holding a 9 mm automatic, is Mrs. Muriel Schonenburger  of Kailua.  Mrs. Schonanburger is an active member of the Outdoor Circle, a group opposed to outdoor signage. She also chairs their Enforcement Committee.

“We told that little character that we wouldn’t tolerate political signs going up until the end of April” said Schonnburger. “It’s time the people on Oahu found out that we mean business and  we’re through talking, if you know what I mean.”

According to one Cayetano campaign official the perpetrator was clearly aiming at Ben. “it’s political all right,” said Walter Heen. “And, in my opinion,  dam fine shooting.”

When asked if the Outdoor Circle still supported Cayetano and his anti-rail platform, Mrs. Schoenburger grew visibly upset.

“Yeah, we thought that elevated rail was ugly all right, but Ben didn’t tell us they wanted to build an even uglier elevated toll road!”

The Outdoor Circle, while not officially sanctioning Mrs Schoenenburger’s actions, did provide her bail and will supply her with legal counsel.

The Outdoor Circle is a self-avowed environmental group who militantly enforces their personal sense of aesthetics on their fellow citizens.

The person shown in the back seat on the video remains unidentified.


6 responses

  1. are you serious ???
    Is this for real?
    this pix is incredible good; I have doubts here about the validity
    Please comment if this is a bad joke or what


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