Clifus Slatorius held a press conference today to decry the planned building of additional pyramids at the Giza Plateau.
“Just look at these ugly monstrosities,” shouted Slatorius, pointing at a artist’s rendering. “They will block the rays of the sun god, Ra, and mar our view of the dessert for perhaps a hundred years.”
“People of the future will look upon these piles of rocks in the sky and wonder what the hell we were thinking!” Clifus lamented.
Slatorius’s argument quickly focused on the cost of the large public works project ordered by the Pharaoh.
“The average family is already having a hard time staying in beer and bread, how can we possible afford an additional tax to fund this megalithic abomination.” stated Slatorius.
When Slatorius invoked the name of Pharaoh Khufu and insinuated that this project was all about kickbacks to the Pharaoh and the royal family, the guards drew their swords and Slatorius slipped away from the podium and quickly blended into the crowd.
His assistant, Panos the Greek, chimed in, “Yes, the extra one half of one percent tax will make things like mummification prohibitively expense, and skimping on sacrifices to Sobek, the crocodile god, will bear bitter fruit, I can tell you that!”
Panos also relented after a mild prod from a spear tip.
Slatorius, a Roman ex patriot, bills himself as “an expert in pyramid construction,” but actually amassed a small fortune mummifying cats.
Panos the Greek, the only known survivor of being chucked off a cliff as a baby in his home town of Sparta, is widely rumored to be running for Pharaoh again.
The meeting was abruptly ended and the crowd dispersed before the promised appearance of the mummy of Pharaoh Ben Khaya II.