A Whole Lot O’Shakin Going On

Washington, DC still plagued by Bush's Fault.

The East Coast of the U.S. was rocked by a 5.9 earthquake a couple of days ago. The nation’s capitol was particularly hard-hit, with several monuments and government buildings damaged by the rare trembler.

President Obama almost returned from his vacation in Martha’s Vineyard, but decided on a press conference instead.

“Clearly this is another example of the mess we inherited from the previous administration,” said The President. “This earthquake is clearly due to Bush’s Fault.”

The President was, of course, referring to the Bush Fault Line that bisects the District of Colombia. During the recent quake, the fault opened up all along The Mall starting at the Lincoln Memorial and actually fractured the Capitol Building and parts of Union Station. Congress was in session when the violent quake rattled the nation’s capitol, and opened a vast sinkhole under the Capitol Building. What started as a jagged crack along the center aisle quickly opened into a gapping chasm that claimed the lives of several members of the House when they hesitated while deciding which way to jump. Congressman Henry Waxman hung on for several minutes, dangling over the abyss, before disappearing into the depths; others are still missing and presumed lost.

Hawaii’s representatives Hirono and Hanabusa were safe on the far left of the House Chamber and not directly threatened by the disaster. They did appear to be in shock and excitedly repeated the President’s assertion that it was all, once again, the result of Bush’s Fault.

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