Superbowl Commericals – Spend High…Aim Low

#1 Doritos suck

Now that the Superbowl is over, we can get down to the serious business of critiquing those super-expensive commercials.  Now reported to be over $3 million a pop for the choicest breaks, these super spots are big brands’ chance to make a lasting impression on the largest television audience of the year.  Why then, do so many leave us feeling like the sponsors are jerks.

Here’s our Monkey’s choice awards for the worse, most offensive and politically incorrect commercials of the 2011 Superbowl.

1. The really bad, really gay Doritos ad. This commercial literally sucked.  The lumberjack-looking guy slowly turning gay in the spot was pretty funny, but Doritos didn’t intentionally aim for gay…it just kind of happened. One dude sucking on another dude’s finger is pretty gay, sorry it just is. The message appears to be, if you want someone to put it in their mouth, dust it with Doritos’ powder.

#2 Cram it in my Mini

2. Cram it in the Boot(ee). This one is a tour de force of sexual innuendo for morons.  I guess you could call the perspective shot of the guy shoving a giant sub sandwich into the car a clever homage to John Holmes, but it would be a reach. This is a decent car and deserves an ad agency that won’t screw it.

#2 Cram Cam

3. Black couple commits felony assault with a Pepsi Max can. The victim is of course an innocent, white, female jogger; who is left face down on the pavement while the perps run away.  Not sure who the target market is or whether it’s supposed to be Central Park or not.

4. Pepsi strikes again with their pop can as weapon theme. This time the entire plot of Revenge of the Nerds is compressed to thirty seconds, culminating in the mandatory shot to the balls. A guaranteed audience pleaser, as long as your aiming at eight year old boys…and maybe they are.

#3 Take that, bitch

5. Kim Kardashian’s Giant Butt. After about 28 seconds of Kim Kardashian flopping around in her little tiny workout suit we finally figure out this is an ad for Sketchers shoes.  But, don’t blink or you’ll miss it (the shoe).  On second thought, you could put a drink on that girl’s butt while she’s standing up and it wouldn’t fall off…dam!

#4 The mandatory ball shot

#5 Kim's badonkadonk

I goes without saying that GoDaddy ads are among the most tasteless of all time, but this year’s batch just didn’t seem to have the exquisite level of tackiness we’ve come to expect. So, all things considered, they dropped out of our top five.  But, don’t worry there’s plenty of stupid money out there to step up and fill the void.


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